Meet Sir Reginald Butterscotch IV, a man of exquisite but peculiar taste. Oddities and contradictions make up much of Sir Butterscotch's life. "As the Scottish would say," according to Sir Butterscotch, "when the bee stings, the honey pours". This phrase of his makes no sense to anyone with ears, but Sir Butterscotch tends to be a little nonsensical. He loves Scottish proverbs and sayings. He doesn't actually know any, but he likes to make them up and pretend they came from Scotland. Sir Butterscotch has a deep admiration for Scotland and its people. He believes that Scotland made the world what it is today despite all the "Made in China" labels ("Scottish modesty," he would tell himself). Sir Butterscotch would pretend so many things were from Scotland that after 73 years of living, he believed himself to be from there as well. But, like all things Sir Butterscotch believes to be true, this was false and he is in fact, of British descent. Also, the place he believes to be Scotland is actually Australia but when you get to be 73 years of age, these kinds of mix-ups become more endearing than baffling stupid.
Despite Sir Butterscotch's love for the Scottish lifestyle (or possibly Australian) he never did fancy the kilt (ironically, he also has a disdain for butterscotch candies too). "Dreadful things they are and none too private either, aye!" he would say in one of those terrible Scottish accents you only hear on American television. "A wee breeze comes by and then your haggis and kebabs (another made-up phrase on his) are out for the world and Mars to see." Even when nobody asked, which they never did, he would tell people about his dislike of kilts. However, his true fear had nothing to with his "haggis and kebabs". As said before, Sir Butterscotch was a tad peculiar and had habits that he preferred to keep to himself. He loves silk as much as he loves Scotland and what could be more silkier than a pair of ladies underwear. There you see, lies the problem. If a wee breeze were to come by and Sir Butterscotch happened to be wearing a kilt, the entire block would see that he liked to wear ladies underwear. If only he knew that there are much less embarrassing alternatives, but Sir Reginald Butterscotch IV is a man of principal that sticks to what he thinks he knows is best, however questionable what he knows may be.
